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Blogs / Ramblings

1/29/2009 - Trapped In An Elevator
1/27/2009 - The Close Call
1/14/2009 - Tom McCoy
12/23/2008 - Political Science
12/09/2008 - Grinch
10/08/2008 - 30th Birthday
7/25/2008 - Installing Blinds
6/03/2008 - The Great Wall
5/30/2008 - Rudeness
5/22/2008 - Sick Days At Work
4/09/2008 - Home Warrantee
3/31/2008 - Animal Crackers
3/17/2008 - Green Beverage Day
3/05/2008 - I Should Write A Novel
2/26/2008 - The Evil Oak
2/18/2008 - A Tribute To My iPod
2/11/2008 - Criminology Textbooks
2/04/2008 - The Surgery
1/31/2008 - WDW Marathon Part V
1/25/2008 - WDW Marathon Part IV
1/19/2008 - WDW Marathon Part III
1/17/2008 - WDW Marathon Part II
1/16/2008 - WDW Marathon Part I
1/12/2008 - Marathon Details
1/09/2008 - Running From My Run
1/04/2008 - The Holidays
1/01/2008 - First Blog


A Tribute To My iPod
My iPod may be gone, but not from my heart.

. . .

Yesterday, my iPod was consumed by a large dog.

This came as a bit of a disappointment to me, since I happen to like iPods more than dogs. In fact, if I had a choice, the iPod would have eaten the dog.

I know it makes me sound impractical (an iPod could never eat the whole thing), but I had grown to love that iPod. I even gave it a name: Jeff's iPod. In the two years we've been together, we've rarely been apart for more than two or three songs. I miss Jeff's iPod already. We did everything together: chores, jogging, even driving while talking on a cell phone.

I will write the details of what happened below, but those of you with a weak stomach may wish to skip the rest of this blog. This is your only warning-- Here is what happened to my iPod...

A dog, or disgusting little poopmaker, had leapt onto the porch in search of food. Finding none, he discovered Jeff's iPod and began his ghastly gnawing. With headphones attached instead of speakers, Jeff's iPod was helpless to cry out. I walked on the porch a few minutes later, but by then it was too late. The guts of the iPod had been strewn throughout the area.

My first reaction was astonishment. I couldn't even absorb what had just happened. I tried to look away, but like a car wreck caused by someone on a cell phone, it was too shocking not to stare.

The dog simply smiled at me. He refused to speak english, but I knew what he was thinking...

Try loving your precious iPod now.

I shoved the beast out of the way and ran to Jeff's iPod. Gently picked it up, I attempted to come up with some words of consolation. I could tell it was trying to tell me something, but a dangling cord was all that remained of its once beautiful headphones.

In the middle of the screen was a gaping hole. I gently wiped dog drool out of the hole and held the iPod to my face.

"Jeff's iPod" I said softly, "Don't leave me."

The corner of the screen flickered twice, then went black.

"Nooooooooooooo!" I shouted, cursing the dog for the horrors he had wrought.

With eyes welling up, I collected the twisted disembodied remains of Jeff's iPod. I knew at that moment that my life would never be the same. Gathering the crumpled pieces, I placed them in a small box.

Although this is a rough time, I want you to know how much I appreciate the condolence cards and emails from those of you who already heard.

In accordance with the wishes of Jeff's iPod, it will be recycled through Apple's environmentally friendly disposal program. Services will be held Friday. I expect you all there.

Jeff's moral for the day: Tell your electronic devices that you love them. Do this before it's too late.